I am truly blessed

Blessed be God... He is so amazing. Whether I am up or down, whether I am happy or sad, he provides all I need in life. He is always there for me, and always hears my prayers. God deserves all the glory and all the credit for every good thing in my life. Without God, I would be nothing, and have nothing. God is my hope, and with him I have more than I ever could have dreamed of. So this one is for God. God, you are Glory... you are everything good in the world and in me, and you deserve all the credit for everything good that I have, including my happiness. No one else could make me as happy as you make me. Thank you.

-JW.

Burnt Out

Well, I feel pretty well emotionally burnt out... between my problems and those of others I feel like I just want to go to sleep for a few days and wake up and start over again. I hate feeling helpless... I hate not knowing... I hate worrying... I hate knowing that I'm making things worse... I hate knowing that things are screwed up because of me. So much for not hating anything... I wish I had a time machine that would take me back to the start... I would do it all over again, just a little differently so that I wouldn't alienate those I care about. That's not possible, I know, not with me at the wheel, but hey, I could always give it a shot couldn't I? That is if I had a time machine. Maybe I shouldn't engage in wishful thinking... I think it only makes things worse. Wishing is like hoping, both are dangerous to morale when neither one works out.

To the two people I have managed to alienate in the past month, (you know who you are), I am truly sorry. Please forgive me. It was never my intention to do those things to you. That's not an excuse, and I know my apology probably doesn't help. I don't deserve to be forgiven, and I don't deserve a second chance, but I'm asking for it anyway.

-JW.

Vindicated

Have you ever heard the song Vindicated by Dashboard Confessional? I had forgotten about it until I pulled up some music to listen to on my computer... it's amazing how the words fit right now for me... how they fit my feelings. Here are the lyrics if you haven't heard them before:

Hope dangles on a string like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out
The shine of it has caught my eye and roped me in
So mesmerizing, so hypnotizing, I am captivated

I am Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
I swear I knew it all along

And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself so clear

Like the diamond in your ring
Cut to mirror your intentions
Oversized and overwhelmed
The shine of which has caught my eye and rendered me so isolated, so motivated

I am certain now that
I am Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
I swear I knew it all along

And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

So turn up the corners of your lips
Part them,
and feel my finger tips trace the moment, fall forever
Defense is paper thin, just one touch and I'd be in too deep now to ever swim against the current
So let me slip away [3x]
So let me slip against the current
So let me slip away [4x]

I am Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
I swear I knew it all along

And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

Slight hope
It dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption...

Guitar Resources Blog

So, I've made yet another blog, which can be found here. It's specific purpose is to share resources for guitar playing with others. Check it out, and if anybody has a link to a resource they think should be added, let me know.

-JW.

Zune and downloads?

I asked for a Microsoft Zune for Christmas (Zune is an MP3 player, picture viewer, and video player). Does anybody know of any good free and reliable (non-virus) download sites for movies/videos/music? Let me know! Thanks!

-JW.

Bible Study Blog

For those interested, I have a second blog devoted to Bible study. Take a look and let me know what you think. http://christianbiblestudyblog.blogspot.com

-JW.

YouTube

Ok, so for those of you who are interested, I have a YouTube page http://www.youtube.com/raeknight79 . Check it out. I don't post anything on there made by me, but I place videos into playlists that I think are worthy. Personally I hate searching around for good stuff to watch on YouTube, so I decided to make an account and throw a page up with a bunch of stuff I found worthy. Don't rely too much on the "Favorites" list on the page. Things are better divided into playlists (found at the top of the page) or here: http://www.youtube.com/profile_play_list?user=raeknight79

As a preview of some of the videos you'll find in each playlist:

Cool Random stuff (has a variety of random things):

Free Running/Le Parkour:

Funny Stuff:

Music Videos:

Short Films (a wide variety of films including short animations):

Anyhow, check it out if you're board and want something to entertain you mindlessly for hours. If you come across something you'd like to see added to my YouTube page, let me know so I can go check it out and get it up.

-JW.

My Life

Ok, so I guess I'll start this blog off with a negative note (but I'll try not to put too many negative things on this site... don't worry about it too much).

So for those of you who don't know, I was dating my best friend... we had been best friends for about two years. We began dating, got engaged, and now we broke up. I'll keep the why's to myself because that's between him and I. The point is that the person I was planning on spending the rest of my life with has other plans now... I am altogether miserable, and this happened two weeks ago. OK, so blah blah blah, my life sucks... I promise this will not turn out to be another emo Blogger page where all I do is talk about my life sucking. Sorry, but that just happens to be the topic for this particular blog. If anybody out there has any prayers to spare for me, all I want for Christmas is one last chance to be with the love of my life... I want a chance to make things work.

On the note of prayers, did you see my poll somewhere over to the right of the page? I'd like to know about people's religion. I love God a lot, and I love to study his word. I also like to talk about his word. If you're not Christian, that's ok, I won't hold it against you, but don't be too shocked if there's a lot of stuff about God here.

Ok, that's all I have for now. Check out the next Blog for more.

-JW.